A colorful valentine's day illustration with a large heart and festive balloons.

Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes: Witty Lines for a Love-Filled Laugh

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and you’re probably looking for some lighthearted and humorous ways to express your affection. Well, you’re in the right place! We have compiled a fantastic collection of funny Valentine’s Day quotes that will make your sweetheart chuckle and your heart skip a beat.

A cartoon heart holding a sign with a funny Valentine's Day quote, surrounded by heart-shaped balloons and confetti

These entertaining quotes are a mix of sweet, loving, and downright hilarious, to make your Valentine’s Day celebrations filled with laughter. Whether you’re looking to include them in a card, a message, or simply share them in conversation, these amusing quotes are sure to brighten your special someone’s day.

So go ahead and explore these witty Valentine’s Day quotes to find the perfect one that captures the humor and love you share with your significant other. And remember, laughter is one of the best ways to keep the love alive!

Quote List 1 – 25

  1. Valentine, just a few words to tell you how I love you. I have loved you since the first day I saw you. Whenever that was.Charles M. Schulz

As a couple, you might appreciate this humorous Valentine’s Day quote about the uncertainties of when true love began.

  1. Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties. – Jules Renard

This cheeky quote reflects the balance between heart and mind in a relationship.

  1. My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn’t want him to. – Rita Rudner

For those unsure about marriage, this funny Valentine’s quote provides a little comic relief.

  1. All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. – Charles M. Schulz

Sometimes in a relationship, it’s important to indulge in a few simple pleasures, such as chocolate.

  1. Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. – Erma Bombeck

Your romance may not be predictable, but at least it’s more exciting than living with a car battery.

  1. If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, it means nobody else liked them.

This lighthearted take on the old adage about true love may bring a smile to your face.

  1. Love is being stupid together. – Paul Valéry

A healthy relationship often involves a willingness to be silly and enjoy life together.

  1. If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? – Lily Tomlin

This funny Valentine quote underscores the challenge of defining true love.

  1. The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. – Phyllis Diller

Not all quotes have to be about couples or love; sometimes, a funny story about domestic life can be just as entertaining.

  1. I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.

The absurdity of the traditional symbol of Valentine’s Day, Cupid, can be quite amusing.

  1. If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something. – Fran Lebowitz

While this quote takes a wry approach to lasting romance, it’s a reminder that maintaining a relationship takes effort.

  1. True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. – Erich Segal

Embrace subtlety in romance with this funny quote about experiencing true love.

  1. A heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others. – Frank Morgan

A reminder that love is a two-way street, this quote emphasizes the importance of giving and receiving affection.

  1. Hugs and kisses are the best accessories for any outfit.

Sometimes, the simplest sentiments can be the most meaningful, as this hug and kisses themed quote suggests.

  1. The best thing to hold onto in life is each other. – Audrey Hepburn

This timeless quote by Audrey Hepburn highlights the importance of companionship and the strength of a good relationship.

  1. Love is a grave mental disease. – Plato

Even the ancient philosopher Plato had something to say about the powerful effects of love, with a humorous perspective.

  1. Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing. – Natasha Leggero

A more modern take on love’s definition, this funny Valentine quote is all about honesty.

  1. When love is not madness, it is not love. – Pedro Calderón de la Barca

Passion and the willingness to embrace it can sometimes be the ultimate proof of love.

  1. Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend. – Martin Luther King Jr.

Even the most profound quotes can be considered funny or amusing, depending on the context.

  1. The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then marry him. – Cher

A cautionary note for those in search of romance, with a tongue-in-cheek spin.

  1. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are. – Will Ferrell

A modern twist on an old saying, Will Ferrell’s take on pre-marital relationships is both funny and insightful.

  1. I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. – Rita Rudner

A funny quote about the joys of marriage and the art of compromise.

  1. Love is like a lost object. If you search too hard, you won’t find it. But if you just forget about it momentarily, it will show up in the most unexpected way.

This light-hearted quote is a reminder to relax and let love find its way to you.

  1. Romance is not dead, it’s just hiding behind technology.

In today’s technologically driven world, there’s still room for heartfelt romance and genuine connections.

  1. An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her. – Agatha Christie

Leave it to the famed mystery writer Agatha Christie to provide a humorous spin on marital bliss and the aging process.

Quote List 26 – 50

A table scattered with love-themed quotes, surrounded by heart-shaped decorations and scattered rose petals

In this quote list, we have gathered some funny Valentine’s Day quotes by various famous personalities. Explore these delightfully humorous quotes and have a chuckle.

  1. Love is a lot like a backache: it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.George Burns

  2. I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.Rita Rudner

  3. If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?Lily Tomlin

  4. You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.Dr. Seuss

  5. Valentine’s Day is really just a marketing ploy by the chocolate industry.Jim Gaffigan

  6. A good husband is cheaper than good chocolate, but you don’t have to share him with anyone else.Phyllis Diller

  7. When you love someone, you want all the lights to shine and bells to ring. – H. L. Mencken

The quotes in this list not only tickle your funny bone but also portray love and relationships in a light-hearted way. So go ahead, share these quotes with your loved ones and make them laugh on this Valentine’s Day.

Quote List 51 – 75

Here is a compilation of some funny Valentine’s Day quotes for you to enjoy, in a friendly tone, with a mix of humor related to cupid, singles, and friendship.

  1. Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid is.Unknown

  2. Love is hiding who you really are at all times, even when you’re sleeping.Good Housekeeping

  3. Love is wearing makeup to bed and going downstairs to the Burger King to poop, and hiding alcohol in perfume bottles… – Good Housekeeping

  4. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.BreatheToInspire

  5. Relationships are like fat people, most of them don’t work out.Happy Valentines Day

  6. If I had a dollar for every time I thought of you, I’d be in the poor house.Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes

  7. Valentine, just a few words to tell you how I love you. I have loved you since the first day I saw you. Whenever that was.Charles M. Schulz

  8. Forget Dorothy. You can follow the yellow brick road of friendship with me until we both need backache medicine and hearing aids.Greetings Island

  9. Valentine’s Day has gotten blown way out of proportion. Valentine’s Day just used to be for your girlfriend or your wife, but now everyone’s like, “Oh, Happy Valentine’s Day!” I even got a Valentine’s Day card from my grandmother. How ridiculous is that?Garry Shandling

  10. This Valentine’s Day, remember that flowers are nice, but a win is better. Have a fun time enjoying the company of your friends and cracking jokes.

Quote List 76 – 100

A pile of colorful love-themed quotes arranged in a heart shape, surrounded by scattered heart-shaped confetti and a few scattered heart-shaped candies

In this section, we’ll share some funny Valentine’s Day quotes that will surely put a smile on your face and remind you of the lighter side of love. Laughter is important in any relationship, and these quotes will help you and your significant other share a chuckle or two.

  1. When love is not madness, it is not love.Pedro Calderón de la Barca
  2. Valentine’s Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don’t have a special someone, you’re alone.Tracy Smith
  3. Every time you love, love as deeply as if it were forever.Audre Lorde
  4. To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.Oscar Wilde
  5. Valentine, just a few words to tell you how I love you. I have loved you since the first day I saw you. Whenever that was.Charles M. Schulz 1

Continuing with more quotes, remember that love can be expressed in various ways, and humor is one of them. Keep scrolling to enjoy more belly laugh-inducing Valentine’s Day quotes.

  1. I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.Rita Rudner
  2. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.Jim Carrey
  3. Love is a serious mental disease.Plato
  4. Love is hiding who you really are at all times, even when you’re sleeping.Groucho Marx 2
  5. Love should be an inspiration, not an obligation.Zsa Zsa Gabor

Finally, here are the last five quotes to complete our list. Embrace the humor of these brilliant minds and remember to keep laughter present in your relationship.

  1. Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things.Keanu Reeves
  2. Talk to me after I’ve had my morning coffee.Unknown
  3. I want a man who’s kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask for of a millionaire?Zsa Zsa Gabor
  4. Love is a lot like a backache: it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.George Burns
  5. My mom always said that love is like a deck of cards. You need a heart to love, a diamond to marry, a club to smash the flowers, and a spade to bury the bodies.Adam Rippon 3

Footnotes

  1. (https://parade.com/986706/marynliles/funny-valentines-day-quotes/)

  2. (https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/holidays/valentines-day-ideas/g30518810/funny-valentines-day-quotes/)

  3. (https://avada.io/loveable/blog/funny-valentines-day-quotes/)

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